


Wait For My Heart To Melt

by ambiguous_sanskars



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Andy knows everything, Declarations Of Love, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Nicky tries to be mad at Joe and fails, Pasta, apologizing in italian, but none of it happens here, good communication as a coping mechanism, references to death/violence, this is just soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26790568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambiguous_sanskars/pseuds/ambiguous_sanskars
Summary: “Amore mio, can I please get a glass of water?”If looks could kill, Joe would surely be recovering from his second death of the day. A minute later, Nicky emerged from the kitchen and calmly set a glass full of ice cubes in front of Joe."Wait."
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 31
Kudos: 408





	Wait For My Heart To Melt

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by this Tumblr post by @fangirlshrewt97: https://fangirlshrewt97.tumblr.com/post/629702405523750913
> 
> Translations for Italian we as a fandom may not have memorized yet:  
> idiota egoista - selfish idiot  
> perdonami - forgive me  
> per favore - please  
> mi dispiace - I'm sorry

Joe walked into the front room and collapsed unceremoniously onto a dining chair. He propped his head up on his hands, carding through his still-damp hair to undo any tangles. Andy looked up from where she was haphazardly reclined on the couch.

“Get all the blood out okay?”

“Mhm,” Joe replied quietly. “There really wasn’t much. The poker rod was still hot, so it cauterized the wound almost instantly. Clean kill.”

In the kitchen, Nicky slammed a saucepan onto the stovetop with much more force than necessary. Joe flinched.

“You’ve really done it this time,” Andy confirmed, nonchalantly flipping through an old magazine. “Couldn’t have waited _two minutes_ until Nile showed, huh?”

“Not you, too,” Joe groaned. Andy raised an eyebrow. “Alright, fine. I admit it. I fucked up. But I wasn’t thinking clearly. There were children in there, Andy! What was I supposed to do?”

Joe didn’t think it was possible to empty out a packet of pasta angrily, but there was really no other way to describe the aggression with which the rotini clattered into the empty pot. Nicky whirled around to add in the water, muttering under his breath.

“ _...idiota egoista…_ ”

“Nicky, my love!” Joe called.

“What are you doing??” Andy hissed. “Can’t you tell he’s-”

“ _Amore mio_ , can I please get a glass of water?”

If looks could kill, Joe would surely be recovering from his second death of the day. Nicky shut off the tap, dug a glass out the dishwasher, and stalked deeper into the kitchen, out of Joe’s line of sight. He and Andy exchanged puzzled glances.

Moments later, Nicky reemerged. In his hand, he carried a glass full of ice cubes. He calmly set it down in front of Joe.

“Wait.”

Andy tactfully kept a straight face until Nicky had returned to the kitchen, but when Joe turned, she was shaking with laughter, hand clamped tightly to her mouth. Joe glared at her before sighing.

“It was worth a shot.”

Andy took a deep breath to sober up. “He is not truly angry with you, Joe,” she began. “You know this. He is hurt. He is scared. Give him time.”

“I didn’t mean to die. I miscalculated. I was so sure I would make it out of there alive.”

“The important thing is that you’re here now. Nile had your back.”

“A poker rod, Andy. How was I supposed to see that coming? I’d gotten all the kids out and disarmed the captors-”

“ _Disarmed?_ ” Nicky spat with a harsh laugh, carrying a set of plates to the dining table. “It would have been too much for your noble, large-hearted sensibilities to kill them like they deserved, right?”

Just then, Nile walked into the room, holding up an old woolen jacket with a brass zipper. It was one Joe had scored during a Christmas sale in Ireland several decades ago. Before Booker’s exile, it had been a tradition of sorts for everyone to fight over it when staying in safehouses without heating.

“Joe?” she asked. “Can I wear this? It’s cold here.”

“Of course, Nile.” 

“You know,” Andy interjected. “I think Nile and I can take over dinner prep. Being near the stove will warm her up.” Nicky drew a breath to protest. “My alfredo sauce is better than your marinara, Nicky, so don’t even start.”

Nicky clamped his mouth shut. Andy’s alfredo did sound good. 

“Fine. I am going to rest. Alone.”

Nicky strode past the dining table without so much as a second glance, weaving up the stairs to the bedroom that he and Joe usually shared. Joe lowered his eyes.

“Well?” Andy demanded.

“Well, what?” Joe snapped. She narrowed her eyes. “Andy, I can’t talk to him right now. He’s so angry. I’ll just make him more mad.”

“You have known each other, _loved_ each other, for over 900 years. Do you really think he’s up there fuming at you? Is that what your heart feels?”

Joe didn’t answer.

“Who are you really hurting by staying down here, Joe?”

 _Nicky_ , Joe’s brain supplied helpfully. He stood up. “Okay. Fine. I’m going.”

The bedroom door was open just a crack when he reached it. Joe entered, shuffling his feet and latching the door noisily behind him so as to not startle Nicky with his presence. 

The love of his life sat on the far edge of their bed, facing the balcony. An eerie stillness had settled over Nicky’s body. Joe couldn’t even be sure he was breathing. He walked over to him, carefully keeping his gaze averted to avoid the coldness in Nicky’s eyes.

Joe knelt on the floor between Nicky’s legs. He reached for his hands, exhaling in relief when the latter did not pull away. Joe reverently dropped his lips to Nicky’s knuckles. He kissed them gently, repeatedly, the harsh, residual taste of gunpowder from the sniper kit assaulting his senses.

Nicky didn’t speak, didn’t move, and Joe didn’t dare raise his eyes to his beloved’s face. Instead, he pressed his nose against Nicky’s warm hands.

“ _Perdonami_ , Nicolo. _Perdonami, per favore_. I should not have gone in without backup. _Mi dispiace amore_ , please Nicky. _Perdonami_ , my life. You are right to be angry, but I-” Joe stopped, feeling tears well up in the corners of his eyes. Nicky didn’t move. “ _Per favore_ , Nicolo,” he tried, voice cracking. “Why do you test my courage with your silence? Say something, _amore mio_. I long to hear your voice, be it in anger or forgiveness. I-”

A single drop of water landed on Joe’s nose, and he jerked his gaze up in shock. Nicky turned away immediately, extracting one of his hands from Joe’s grip to swipe roughly at his eyes.

“ _Nicolo_.”

“Don’t.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

Nicky’s hand found the back of Joe’s head, tenderly massaging the base of his skull. Like a magnet, his fingers settled over the exact spot the poker rod had entered Joe’s head. There was no scar, Joe knew. No detectable sign to give away the location of the injury. But Nicky could feel it as surely as Joe could, as though it was his own body that had been struck. Joe shivered. The idea that Nicky experienced his death so somatically was deeply upsetting.

“ _Perdonami_ ,” Joe begged.

“There is nothing to forgive, _hayati_. I am not angry at you.” 

Joe glanced up in surprise. Nicky held his gaze, but he looked troubled.

“But I am angry, Yusuf. So, so angry. At myself, for not protecting you. I watched through the sniper scope as you were killed and I did nothing. I am angry at fate, at God, for this conditional immortality. I have seen you die 259 times and it has never once gotten even the tiniest bit easier.

“You follow your heart, Joe, and it does not mislead you. I know you did what was best for those kids. Of course, _of course_ it’s not your fault that you were killed, my love. I am so sorry for ever implying that.”

“Nicky-”

“It hurts, Yusuf. This anger hurts. This fear hurts. It becomes too much, it spills over, and I take it out on you without meaning to.” Nicky leaned down and pressed his forehead against his beloved’s, his breath warm and familiar on Joe’s face. “Without you, I have nothing. I _am_ nothing.”

Joe whimpered in protest, tilting his mouth up to reach Nicky’s. “You are everything.”

Nicky captured his lips in a searing kiss, and Joe tasted salt, causing his own eyes to sting anew. He wanted to plead with Nicky not to cry, because everything was fine, and nothing in the world was worth his tears. But his husband only tightened his hand in Joe’s curls, pressing more fully into his mouth, and Joe found himself much too far gone for words.

Eventually, Joe turned his face to the side, light-headed from the lack of oxygen. Nicky braced a hand against Joe's hip, pulling him off his knees and onto Nicky’s lap. Joe went willingly, burying his face in Nicky’s neck and breathing him in, relaxing under his soothing touch.

“I’m sorry I gave you ice instead of water.”

Joe chuckled wetly, holding on tighter to the love of his life. “I wasn’t actually thirsty. I just wanted you to talk to me.”

Nicky pressed a long kiss to his temple. “I am sorry for pushing you away.” He pulled back ever so slightly, carding a hand through Joe’s curls and watching his eyelids flutter closed. “But you still came to me. Did Andy send you up here?”

“Mhm. She said you weren’t really mad. That you needed me and I’d be hurting you if I stayed away.”

“That woman knows too much,” Nicolo smiled.

“Comes of being an eternal goddess. She could very well be omniscient.”

Joe let his head fall against Nicky’s chest, the rhythmic rise and fall lulling him to the edge of sleep. Nicky let him doze for a few minutes before speaking softly.

“My heart. How are you feeling? More sleepy or more hungry?”

“H’ngry,” Joe mumbled, half-asleep. He felt Nicky’s lips curve up in amusement as they brushed his forehead.

“Okay. Let’s go downstairs. Andy and Nile might be waiting for us.”

“Five more minutes?”

“ _Yusuf_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Another incredibly self-indulgent fic written to avoid doing actual work! I have no regrets
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated as always! (but no pressure obviously <3)


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